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today is the day i die

about 9 years

story time

my girlfriend and i work at the same ice cream shop . we were both hired roughly 2 weeks ago . the owners are two very staunchly catholic 70-something yr olds and they don't know that my gf and i are friends let alone dating (4 obvious reasons!!).

flash forward to tnight at 7:30 pm . gf had a 5 hour shift and was feeling crappy so i decided to visit her. when i got there, 1 of the owners was inside, so i pretended like i just needed to check the schedule and casually said hi to gf.

my boss pulls me to the side and says "excuse me can i talk to u for a minute? are those hickeys?" unfortunately my gf is a 13 year old named dahvie vanity and , yes , they are hickeys. i tried to cover them up w/ concealer but nOT ENOUGH!!! APPARENTLY :) :) :)

my boss says "ill have to let u go if i ever see that again. warn your boyfriend next time" and im like "ok ma'am im so sorry ill warn him:""

meanwhile my gf is standing ~5 ft away watching this entire interaction

in conclusion, can someone please butcher me alive

how should i die
7
bleach tampon
3
billy joel
2
decapitation
deletedabout 9 years
demand a pay raise
about 9 years

Forrest says

Shoutout to Jack for being a Billy Joel voter with me


we didn't start the fire
about 9 years
Although child labor isn't cool, molesting that child is worse. Definitely take the bridge to concrete nose dive. One less sex offender is always a good thing.
deletedabout 9 years
Shoutout to Jack for being a Billy Joel voter with me
deletedabout 9 years
LMFAO GET IT GIRL
about 9 years

peach says

may god blezs alise


Thank you i am trying my best
about 9 years

peach says

billy joel did this


slow down you crazy child
about 9 years
may god blezs alise
about 9 years
Just sue your boss if he kicka you for sucha reason lmao
about 9 years
give your boss a hickey
deletedabout 9 years

GundamTanaka says

wear a scarf in the summer and say it's a fashion statement


that's exactly what an egg would do
deletedabout 9 years
wear a scarf in the summer and say it's a fashion statement
about 9 years
i just played a game of mafia and it was like everyone was that one person who is loud and obnoxious, so basically it was terrible. the only saving grace was alise, who was obvious mafia but nonetheless a quiet and nice person
deletedabout 9 years
Lmao. No you couldn't.
about 9 years
sure you could
deletedabout 9 years
You couldn't be fired for that in NZ
about 9 years
lol
about 9 years

poser says

green neutralizes red, orange neutralizes brown. go hard with one of those depending on the color, then take some full coverage concealer and powder. if u need recs lmk, dem hickeys dont mess around


ur an angel ill pm u
about 9 years
green neutralizes red, orange neutralizes brown. go hard with one of those depending on the color, then take some full coverage concealer and powder. if u need recs lmk, dem hickeys dont mess around
deletedabout 9 years
sayonara bit*ches
deletedabout 9 years
lick her out right infront of these old c*nts lol
about 9 years
billy joel did this
deletedabout 9 years
Don't defame billy joel
deletedabout 9 years
sorry about your troubles pal
about 9 years
How is she 13 and legally working?