Now that Giga and Jeff have broken up I would like to formally apply to be your best friend Jeff. Please take a moment to consider me for the position as I believe I'm more than qualified!

Name: Haro

Height: 6'0"

Dong size: 7.5 inches

Favorite color: cyan

Favorite movie: Snowpiercer

What will we do together? We'll go out on the town and snort some blow off a naughty thotties tatas and toss a couple grand on blackjack then when the juice starts hitting you hard I'll call us an Uber and whisper sweet nothings in your ear on the ride back to our crib. Once home we'll cuddle in front of our fireplace on a bear rug and giggle at our inside jokes until we fall asleep in each other's arms. The next morning I'll make us some omelettes with cheese, bacon, and mushrooms for breakfast and we'll devour them while playing a few games of mafia in which I'll refrain from calling you a dumb gay weeb.

Please pick me, Jeff.