So I think that a lot of us have had annoying noavis report us on bull**** reasons before, or at least have had problems dealing with noavis in the past. (they veg out, afk, hipfire, troll, generally act stupidly). Here is a simple guide for beating up putrid noavis so that you can help make EpicMafia great again. There are a few exceptions, but by and large, only trolls and absolute fucktards play as noavis. as a boxer I will show you how to go from being a timid, defenseless, well-intentioned blue to an intimidating, glorious vigilante.

• Punches
• Equipment

• Punches
  
  Generally speaking, there are 4 kinds of punches used in boxing: the jab, the cross, the hook, and the uppercut. If you're right handed, you stand with your left foot forward. There's a few reasons for this, but an important one is that it leaves your good arm free if your enemy grabs you. a "jab" is a quick punch delivered with your left hand which can help you gauge distance between yourself and the pathetic no avi scum. You can also use it to whittle down their defenses over time. There's a few schools of thought on where you should focus your fury, but the general consensus is that focusing on the opponent's ribs and lower (guarding) arms is the best way to erode your opponent's stamina. Then, of course, if they slip, a throat punch is often an instant KO and no one likes getting punched in their nose/mouth/general face.
  A jab/cross is a punch delivered across your body, with your dominant hand. It's a power shot, but you don't want to deliver them too often or too early because you need it to deliver the money shots.
  Meanwhile, hooks are delivered from the side, often towards an opponent's blindspot. They're great for knockouts if you strike your opponent's temples. Uppercuts are best used if you're very close to your opponent -- one strong uppercut to the chin is usually an easy knockout.

• Equipment
  
  

Hand wraps are actually your most important tool for fighting disgusting avatarless losers. You need proper wrist support to sustain your hands during a tough fight. There's two major kinds, cotton and Mexican (stretchy). With Mexican-style handwraps, you can get a tighter "glove" to keep your hand in shape, but they do tend to be a bit more expensive and they wear out faster.

Boxing gloves are great for protecting your knuckles. If you fight bareknuckle (which you can!) your knuckles will often get injured if you accidentally punch a stupid noavi's face and hit bone. Unfortunately, they're a bit too bulky for every day carry, and a decent set of mitts will cost you some dough. Even if you're just going to train with a punching bag to vent your fury towards worthless, slimy, and dirty noavis, ALWAYS wear hand wraps under your gloves, or you can easily mess up your wrist.

Brass Knuckles are probably the most effective tool towards ridding the streets of those vile freaks. Yes, I saved the best for last! Not everyone has the money, space, or time to wrap up their hands and slip on some gloves before you take justice into your own hands (literally).

You can often get a pair for under $10, and you only really need them to cover your first two fingers. (Your pinkie and ring finger have no place in punching unless you want to break them). I got mine that also function as a bottle opener; if you just keep them in your back pocket, you can go from 0 to 100% in about 2 seconds. I usually keep my thumb on the sides so I can stabilize my grip.

The important thing with brass knuckles is to maintain a small gap between the further side of the finger holes and your fingers. Don't punch too hard, or your palm might get injured, I know I've made that mistake. With these, a few rib shots / gut shots will probably scare away the disgusting accident of God that crossed your path, but a face punch or two may earn you a well-deserved knockout or deliver them some grievous harm. You punch that guy in the eyes, throats, or temples with these bad boys, and he might be forced out of action for a long, long time. I recommend an eBay search for "brass knuckle paperweights" if you don't live in the hood, where you can even find these in gas stations.

Mouth guards are important if you think you'll be getting in many serious fights; it's a gamble really, but I've been caught in unexpected fights before and I got all my teeth still. Footwork is beyond the scope of this guide but all you really need is a set of knucks or handwraps to train; boxing against your reflection/shadow/imaginary friend is the best mental training for your righteous crusade for a world free of noavis.

If anyone would like more advice I would be happy to talk more techniques / skills, but really, I just hope that I can set off a movement that we can all be in together

your bro,
YHWH