whoops didnt mean to post and now i cant delete

I'd rather do the second.

Would you rather lose every game from now on you play that's ranked, but win one trophy, or win 50% of ranked games you play but you can never win a trophy or win comp games?

The latter, definitely.

Would you rather have sex with your cousin in secret, or not have sex with your cousin but everybody thinks you did.

The latter in order to not further hinder my ability to function as a human being and not creep people out wherever I go.

Would you rather be exceptional at everything you tried but hated by everyone you met, or be ridiculously inferior at everything but constantly fawned over by almost everyone around you?

Uhh I guess I'd rather have that one type of food, those bad effects are not fun.

Would you rather laugh non-stop or never laugh again for the rest of your life?

ePikazard says

Since there's no post yet, I'll start.

Would you rather be pummeled/shot to death by a giant gun-wielding rat (gun shoots boulders that explode on impact) OR have a huge gang of wild big cats/big dogs/ferocious animals tear you to pieces?

This is a good post because it's unique, hard to answer, creative, and I believe the questions are fairly balanced.

However, you should answer to the last post given since that one has already been answered.

I'd rather have unlimited happiness as my life would be great, then, and it wouldn't matter if I had money or not.

Since no one else is posting and I can, I'll grade your post right here:

Posting: Yes. 1.
Unique: Not really. 0.
Creative: Nope. 0.
Hard to Answer: Somewhat, but when you think about it it becomes easy. 1.
Balanced: Again, until you process the question it appears fairly balanced. 1.
Total score is: 3/9

Would you rather only be able to eat one food, but have it infinitely - gaining no weight nor having any of the bad side effects of that food (ie heart attacks with meat, cavities with soda/candies) and always being hungry OR have access to unlimited amounts of any food but bad side effects are amplified x30 and you get full very quickly.

I'd rather be pummeled/shot to death by a gun-wielding rat because I think it'd hurt less.

Would you rather have a million dollars or unlimited happiness?

Since there's no post yet, I'll start.

Would you rather be pummeled/shot to death by a giant gun-wielding rat (gun shoots boulders that explode on impact) OR have a huge gang of wild big cats/big dogs/ferocious animals tear you to pieces?