Everyday when you're waddling down the street
Unable to see your feet
Because you’ll never be a healthy weight.

And I said hey-hey
When the moderator came to play
All the other kids ran away.
When they all smelt him coming.

He wipes the dust off from his chin
Logs in onto Epic Mafia.
Oh what’s this that he sees?
An epic new may-may.
Report him for a ban, a banning from Epic Mafia.
This is how he makes things better, by stopping fun altogether.
It’s a simple message, from a cholesterol-lined heart.
he does it for free,
The moderator of Epic Mafia!

And I said hey-hey
He has no real authority
So he must be a big man on Epic Mafia.
Cause he will never have a real job.