[insert doc joke here]

What the frosted flakes did you just frootloop about me you little captain crunch? I’ll have you know I’m a part of a balanced breakfast and have under 300 confirmed calories per a serving. You are nothing to me. Just a generic brand. I will pour milk into my cereal at the perfect consistency for a television commercial, mark my words. You think you can get away with eating candy for breakfast? Think again reese’s puff cereal. As of right now I am going to my local grocery story store and purchasing boxes of cherrios so you better prepare for a cholesterol drop. The cholesterol drop that makes you bee happy and bee healthy. Your chances of having a heart attack have been lowered. You can eat cereal anytime, everyday and can buy over 700 different brands, and that’s just general mills cereal. Not only can I buy general mills cereal, a part of a balanced breakfast, but I also have access to all Kellogg’s brand cereal and will use it to its fullest extent to wipe your that miserable fat off the face of your diet. If only you could have known what holy benefits eating cereal every day would bring upon you, maybe you would have eaten it with your orange juice and toast. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price by dieting. I will send boxtops to all schools and they will drown in school supplies. You’rrrrrrrreee great, kiddo.