where i started and where i'm going21

marry5mon 2d

hi! i'm marry. i joined epicmafia in 2015. i was 17, and i was in highschool. i googled "play mafia online with friends," and linked a few classmates to a locked game. we played for a bit every day for a week or two, but eventually we found other games to play together. however, i stuck around after meeting a few people on the website who were friendly to me-- if a few people hadn't been excited to see me enter their red heart games, i would have likely never stuck around. (i was user costmary).

this lead me to find the survivor lobby. i was 18-19, and i was playing survivor minis constantly and survivor/bb orgs on skype. i was a front desk receptionist at a hotel for the swing shift, so i played a lot and got to know the community a little bit more every day. (i was user haIsey)

eventually i burnt out of playing in survivor lobby constantly, and would play an occasional game in main lobby or sandbox. sometimes i wouldn't log in for months, or even nearly a year. but these past 12-24 months, i've been spending a lot of time on this website. it's been affecting my mental health more than i'd care to admit. i'm 23 now, and i think i've outgrown this place.

i've never been someone to run for trophies. i struggle keeping up with drama, and even then, it exhausts me. and if i'm being entirely honest here, this site isn't good for me because i feel like i have a reputation to uphold. i feel this need to be perfect, or have people have a very particular and positive image of me, and it's tiring and childish. it's not doing me any favors, even though it helped my self confidence in the short run.

moderating was a fun way to fill time for me -- now i don't have that spare time to be filled. i learned to drive this last month, despite having an intense fear of it for years. i'm working more, and saving money to move out. i escaped my abusive household successfully and haven't gone back for anything. i'm seeing a psychiatrist and taking my medication daily. i'm eating, showering, and not calling out of work anymore.

this site has connected me with so many people and i'm so grateful for that. you'll likely still see me ghosting around for a short while, probably with a forum game here or there. but it'll be much less, until i'm simply not around anymore on here.

thank you for entertaining me and please continue to be kind to each other. we really do need it now more than ever before.

love, marry

gom1mon 15d



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