where i started and where i'm going21

marry5mon 2d
+18

hi! i'm marry. i joined epicmafia in 2015. i was 17, and i was in highschool. i googled "play mafia online with friends," and linked a few classmates to a locked game. we played for a bit every day for a week or two, but eventually we found other games to play together. however, i stuck around after meeting a few people on the website who were friendly to me-- if a few people hadn't been excited to see me enter their red heart games, i would have likely never stuck around. (i was user costmary).

this lead me to find the survivor lobby. i was 18-19, and i was playing survivor minis constantly and survivor/bb orgs on skype. i was a front desk receptionist at a hotel for the swing shift, so i played a lot and got to know the community a little bit more every day. (i was user haIsey)

eventually i burnt out of playing in survivor lobby constantly, and would play an occasional game in main lobby or sandbox. sometimes i wouldn't log in for months, or even nearly a year. but these past 12-24 months, i've been spending a lot of time on this website. it's been affecting my mental health more than i'd care to admit. i'm 23 now, and i think i've outgrown this place.

i've never been someone to run for trophies. i struggle keeping up with drama, and even then, it exhausts me. and if i'm being entirely honest here, this site isn't good for me because i feel like i have a reputation to uphold. i feel this need to be perfect, or have people have a very particular and positive image of me, and it's tiring and childish. it's not doing me any favors, even though it helped my self confidence in the short run.

moderating was a fun way to fill time for me -- now i don't have that spare time to be filled. i learned to drive this last month, despite having an intense fear of it for years. i'm working more, and saving money to move out. i escaped my abusive household successfully and haven't gone back for anything. i'm seeing a psychiatrist and taking my medication daily. i'm eating, showering, and not calling out of work anymore.

this site has connected me with so many people and i'm so grateful for that. you'll likely still see me ghosting around for a short while, probably with a forum game here or there. but it'll be much less, until i'm simply not around anymore on here.

thank you for entertaining me and please continue to be kind to each other. we really do need it now more than ever before.

love, marry

1,248visits
0viewing
19
marryOct 6, 2020
+15
tl;dr: i'm leaving, see you later
YoSoyPabloEscobarOct 6, 2020
+3
I'm not cr-crying, you are!
deletedOct 6, 2020
+3
Proud of you! Good luck in life
SpookyOct 6, 2020
+2
Be yourself marry
Don't be what others want you to be and people make mistakes

Wish you good luck in life and I'm glad I met such a kind spirit in my life :)
shadyOct 6, 2020
+4
stan marry
joqizaOct 6, 2020
+12
can confirm the occasional forum game life is the best one

proud of you :') Give us an update every so often!
sl0ndermanOct 6, 2020
+4
how am i supposed to know what day it is? selfish jerk.
SamP4PalmerOct 6, 2020
+3
But but but... how am I supposed to fill DR forum style season 2.... D:D:D:D::D:D:D:D:D:D::D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D: ;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;
DarkBOct 6, 2020
+2
marry :(

glad that everything is coming together for you!! i'll miss seeing you around. dont leave us hanging
filkoOct 6, 2020!
+3
Take care marry.
AlyssaOct 6, 2020
+3
safe travels marry <3
MonteCarrloOct 6, 2020
+2
another survivor lobbyer fallen
staypositivefiendOct 7, 2020
+36
you are one of my favorite users on the site, and the site is better w/your presence. u will be missed and i hope u take care of yourself
pantheroOct 7, 2020
+5
You can't leave us alone here Marry.
SuperOct 13, 2020
+2
aw, marry. just saw this. love you gurl! <3 hope we play many more forum games together
honeyOct 13, 2020
+12
Proud of you <3
ObjectOct 13, 2020
+23
marry
if i'm being entirely honest here, this site isn't good for me because i feel like i have a reputation to uphold. i feel this need to be perfect, or have people have a very particular and positive image of me, and it's tiring and childish. it's not doing me any favors, even though it helped my self confidence in the short run.
I know exactly what you mean by this. I've always wondered how you were able to always be this magical lantern of happiness for us with so much going on in your own life...... but like I know that's not who you are at rest. Wouldn't be possible. It's weird, I've never thought of you as really being the person of your image, even though I play along like you are.

Anyways, you're still an extremely special person, I can tell, and I hope I haven't seen the last of you. I'll miss you and I'm proud of you and I'm not just saying either of those things.
RagefakarOct 16, 2020
+2
best of luck with whatever you do with life, you seem like a really good person who has gone through a lot, hopefully things get a lot better than worse for you
marryOct 16, 2020
+2
you are all so kind and i don't have the words to really express how much i appreciate these comments. i look at them every other day.
shadyOct 16, 2020
+4
well wtf if you're gonna look at it every day then i'll say something nicer...

gonna miss you a lot hayley I'm sure I'll still see you around here and there so I'm not like WIGGIN OUT but I too am very proud of you and happy for you and you are so strong and fierce! you rock :D

Players

No players added to the game yet
  • {{$index + 1}}{{r.user}}
    {{tag.text}}
  • {{result.username}}