An FBI agent came to my door today5
Not even memeing, like you can't make this crap up, people. It all started because of this thread: http://sep7agon.net/the-flood/listen-guys-i-would-like-to-announce-my-plans/
Pretty much I made an off-color joke, and someone who spites me pretended to take it seriously so they could report me to the FBI. I laughed off his threat to report me, but lo and behold I'm woken up today by some guy at my door, I'm thinking "oh this is someone from the park" but he promptly identified himself as an FBI agent.
My first reaction was pure incredulity, but I was just polite and apologetic, explained it was a joke. I showed TONS of remorse, and he let me off with a lecture about how you can't joke about stuff like that on social media. I was facing up to five years jail time if I couldn't convince him that it was just a bad joke.
Take this as a lesson bros, don't say things like "I'm going to eat a toddler" on the Internet.
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Video for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg3_kUaYFJA&feature=emb_title