That blog I'll never write37

Saine1mon 4d

It's been a couple of years since I've done anything EM-related, and I'm not entirely sure I'm even going to get back into it. I doubt anyone even remembers me outside of some bad e-breakups (the very thought just makes me laugh now). It'd help to get back into the social scene, so here's the requisite personal thread. AMA, and don't mind the stoned midnight insights.

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Saine25d 16h
Time for a rant.

I'm just a young man trying to move in with his girlfriend. I'm getting evicted (landlord wants to sell the property), and we figured this was a perfect opportunity to move in together. We found a lovely place right by the college she's going to attend. Pools, outdoor barbecues, friendly neighborhood full of other students, it's a goddamn dream.

The nightmare is dealing with the paperwork.

I'm a military kid. I moved around a lot, and ID got lost in all the boxes. It happens way more often than you'd think - there are facilities on every military base with the explicit purpose of replacing lost paperwork. But I'm just a dumb kid, and I was so used to letting my mom take care of it, that when I needed to start taking care of myself after I left for college, I had no idea what to do and just ignored it.

There's a special circle in hell that's just the DMV offices during COVID. It's impossible to schedule an appointment, it's impossible to get anybody on the phone, it's impossible to ask questions about needed documents because everybody's on such a low-personnel operating mode and they need to get through with you quickly.

I spent all of yesterday biking around in this dry heat getting passport paperwork together, from going across town to get my photo taken to going back to the other end of town to get forms printed. The joke here is that you need another form of ID in order to get your passport paperwork processed. And the joke THERE is that every other form of state ID requires another form of state ID to apply for.
Saine25d 16h!
I've been living here for 3 years. I'm a tax-paying goddamn American. Why is it so hard to get an ID in this state? I know I ultimately have myself to blame, but that doesn't fix the situation. There's literally no open avenues for obtaining an ID without documentation I have no way of procuring without another form of ID.

And I say literally without exaggeration. I've been researching this all day - it's a regular problem for homeless people who both lose documents in the struggles of homeless living, and can't get over the exorbitant fees to get everything in order. I was nearly about to be homeless myself over some red tape if it weren't for a pair of technicality scissors I found.

I got a speeding ticket back in 2018, and they issued a license number when it was filed. Speeding is literally going to keep a roof over my head.
Saine23d 18h
Was thinking, I used to argue on lobby wall and shrug off the following accusations of racism back in the day, too.

I haven't changed at all LOL
Saine23d 13h!
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Saine22d 16h!
+2
I went on a small, self-reflective journey last night in the wake of the new site ruling.

I've turned myself into a contrarian by nature. Overseas, things felt normal. I was so used to this system of not a color-based system of racism, but an 'us vs. the locals' understanding. It was very easy to perpetuate this refusal of diffusion because of the language barrier. My circle of potential people I could talk to was smaller than normal, and friends never stayed around for more than a year.

Now I'm here, and I'm really unsure of how American social cues work. I feel like a foreigner, trying to speak a language that isn't my own. I have certain understandings of what life is like, but it's very limited in American experiences of racism. I think my inexperience is due to the language barrier I talked about earlier, and that because I wanted to stay as a clueless military kid instead of broaden my own cultural horizons.

The biggest realization I've had this past day was that I'm still doing this. Playing uneducated military brat in a foreign country.

This has started to conflict with my appreciation for life and the people in it. I feel these stories of racism in a way I can't even describe. I'm empathetic, as much as I can be, but not outwardly and not as much as people deserve.

I no longer have the excuse of a language barrier to live in my own world of bliss, and I find that difficult to cope with. But I'm going to try my best if it means making life less terrible for another person.
Apfel22d 3h!
OP I love your writings. I wish I could write as good as you~~ Your last piece was beautifully thoughtful.
Saine21d 18h!
tf don't read this

(but ty)
Saine21d 18h
I had a bit of a stressful time last night, too. I'd paid a friend of mine to help me with some editing, and sent it out to the customer before listening to the file. The edits were so bad that the customer sent it back.

I didn't give him any guidance on how to do the job right, so I can't be mad at him. It just really sucks to need an extra hand, but end up with twice the work to do afterward.

On that note, if there are any aspiring audio clip editors receptive to feedback, I'll pay you! It's super easy to do, just a bit tedious.
Saine20d 9h
I promised I'd do a self-exposé on how dumb 16-year-old me successfully catfished a 32-year-old EM user for about a year, but I'm too stoned. Maybe the fancy will strike me later tonight, but it'll probably come tomorrow. Looking forward to it~
Saine19d 15h
Literally just posting to get the DADT thread off 'Recent Topics'
Saine13d 4h
No one reads this anyway so I'm just going to avoid that story and write about what I want mkay
Saine13d 3h!
There's a lovely series on YouTube titled "What Games Are Like For Someone Who Doesn't Play Games". It analyzes the accessibility of newer titles and cites some very informal experiments the creator did with his wife, exposing her (the n00b) to a number of different 'modern classics', like Dark Souls, the new Doom, and P0rtal.

With my own aspiring wifey slowly dipping her toes into my hobby, I find that this series speaks to me on many levels, especially in how/when I should offer assistance and really considering what *she* likes in a game. It can be difficult for her to articulate why she likes a game, and I feel weird about assuming some of these reasons, but the experience of seeing a game through another, more casual perspective is incredibly eye-opening.

Honestly, it mostly makes me realized how conditioned I am to videogame literacy - that this particular ledge is climbable because other ledges like it are climbable, that I don't have to do every side quest when picking up an open-world title, that maneuvering both cameras and the player controls feels second nature where a less-experienced player may have trouble.

It breaks my heart when wifey gets frustrated with games. I'm a bit bothered by how far this goes - I know it's not a personal attack when she can't solve a puzzle in BotW, but I want to calm her down and assure her that it just asks for a bit of lateral thinking. I want to comfort her when the big Sekiro boss pulls out a cheap second form and kills her instantly, and assure her it's because the game's trying to be difficult, not because of her own failures.

Then she'll hit me with that 'what are you talking about dude lol i love this game'

I worry too much.
Saine11d 6h
This game is just a blog to me. And the debate chan on discord. Why do I even click on games any more?
Saine9d 20h!
I'm starting to wonder if I'm just always on the wrong side of arguments or if people see my name and assume I've got a bad opinion.

Or the third option, that I'm just so bad at proving a point that I convince people against me.

Regardless, I should stay out of politics.
syd9d 19h
Saine
I'm starting to wonder if I'm just always on the wrong side of arguments or if people see my name and assume I've got a bad opinion.

Or the third option, that I'm just so bad at proving a point that I convince people against me.

Regardless, I should stay out of politics.
i know you didnt ask for my opinion but i dont think you're necessarily on the wrong side but i think you come off very strong and that you give the idea off that you're right, this isnt a personal attack btw or anything like that so im sorry if it comes off that way but i figured i would comment cus this is a bit in relation to the report i made earlier

also, hope you've been enjoying your eggs
Saine9d 19h
syd
i think you come off very strong and that you give the idea off that you're right
I hear this pretty often in my day-to-day (I get tons of 'Don't sound so much like a salesperson' from people who hire me). It's just the way I talk. Of course I think I'm right... didn't you?

I'm not always giving opposition, either. I think it's good Apfel can't bother you any more. One of our methods was much quicker than the other, and would've probably saved you more headache.

And yes, the eggs are lovely. I haven't done much cooking recently with the move-out, but 10-minute boiled eggs are always a welcome snack~
syd9d 19h
Saine
syd
i think you come off very strong and that you give the idea off that you're right
I hear this pretty often in my day-to-day (I get tons of 'Don't sound so much like a salesperson' from people who hire me). It's just the way I talk. Of course I think I'm right... didn't you?

I'm not always giving opposition, either. I think it's good Apfel can't bother you any more. One of our methods was much quicker than the other, and would've probably saved you more headache.

And yes, the eggs are lovely. I haven't done much cooking recently with the move-out, but 10-minute boiled eggs are always a welcome snack~
ya i did agree with you a bit i just wanted to give some insight also good luck with the move out! hope it all goes well for you and i did appreciate you giving advice in the comments btw