Sorta goodbye thread?198
So, I've been kinda dodging this for a while - it's been in the cards for months, now, but I've continued to stay here regardless, because, as I'm sure everybody here knows, I love drama. I really do. It's fun. But it's also consuming and takes away resources from much less questionable pursuits.
The fact of the matter is that sandbox is exhausting. I'm glad that we're at where we are now, compared to sandbox (and EM as a whole) when it was filled with 4channers and the like, but frankly, half the userbase acts like teenagers on tumblr who've just found out that they're capable of forming opinions. And that's exhausting.
It's exhausting being hounded obsessively by people who hate you. It's exhausting arguing with bigots who spontaneously decide they care about social justice whenever they engage with you. It's exhausting arguing with people who expect earnest responses to their bad faith strawmen. It's exhausting having to avoid games with users who harass you, but everybody else is fine with. It's exhausting having straight up bigotry thrown at you, and the people so concerned with your supposed problematic behavior giving it a pass, or even worse, DEFENDING it. It's frankly just exhausting, period, and honestly, this rant in and of itself is overly self-indulgent.
That's not to say there aren't users here that I like - in fact, there's quite a lot of you, and I appreciate you all dearly. Despite the constant drama and "discourse" here (again, a euphemism), there've been people who stuck by me, and that's something I value. Hopefully, y'all can salvage this hellsite and turn it into something meaningful.
Anyway, I don't really know what I'm doing yet , but I intend to scale back the time I spend on EM and dedicate it towards more meaningful, or at least, less irritating endeavors. I might come back to play minigames and such from time to time, and I'll still be active in Crackbox (https://discord.gg/WkmYJ4H if you want to keep up with me there). But either way, I'm hoping to disengage from all... this.
I probably should have done this a while ago, honestly. The fact of the matter is, when you stay in toxic environments long enough, you find yourself becoming toxic in response, like it or not. Sometimes, the situation is just unsalvageable, and all you can do - for yourself, and for others, is walk away. So that's what I intend to do.
that also means understanding that you are not the only person in the world. you arent the only thing that matters. you dont get to do things that make other people uncomfortable (such as being overtly sexual on an all-ages website after REPEATEDLY being asked to stop) and then get angry when those people dislike you. you dont get to tell lies about other people with impunity, because sooner or later, youll have alienated every single person in your life until no one wants anything to do with you. and thats pretty much what happened here.
actions have consequences. decisions require forethought. its up to you to make sure that what you are putting into this community is good, because eventually, you will reap what youve sown - and if all youve been doing is insulting and harming others, you only have yourself to blame when it comes back around.
Most people, regardless of their views on...nearly anything, have certain morals and standards that they expect others to be held to. You don't have to feel the same, and if you feel that nothing said or done to people here matters or "needs to be judged" unless the person is reported for it that's your prerogative but I'd appreciate you not attempting to discourage others from doing so.
This is an incredibly tight knit community. People here have met, become best friends, fallen in love, even gotten married. That's all awesome, but there is a dark side to that. There are abusers who people have survived and continue to have to face just by being here, there are sexual predators who have taken advantage of vulnerable people, especially people too young to know better, there are bullies who safely torment their victims by hiding behind their friends, and there are liars and manipulators who thrive off of trashing people that they feel threatened by. You do not have to care or hold people accountable for what they do. I do, and so do many others. Frankly, anyone who has spent any amount of time here has probably been victim to one of the above from another member of this community at some point. I have a hard time putting myself in your shoes of being apathetic to how other people here are treated but I'm not okay with you trying to discourage people from caring.
It's a horrible, sickening feeling, and I just wanted to reiterate that my point has NEVER been excusing the actions of any member of this community, but rather holding people accountable for their actions even if they are the aforementioned person's 'enemy.' I want MORE accountability and I want MORE people being called out on their behaviour. If anything I've said has reached even 1 person and made them more willing to not stand for how their "friends" treat others, or made even 1 person reflect on their own behaviour, then I'm happy. But until I reach the point where I cannot handle being here anymore, which I felt I was nearly at only a few weeks ago and had to take some time off, I'm never going to stop fighting for that.
It is not ignorant to stand up to others even if those other people have also been victimized. If you choose to ignore my words and instead create your own message from it completely disconnected from anything I've said that's your choice.
I'm done responding to gross, nonconstructive rhetoric because people think they can use another person's intolerance and bigotry to justify and mask their own. Sickening thread.
you really willing to die on this hill?