Sorta goodbye thread?198

deleted1mon 15d

So, I've been kinda dodging this for a while - it's been in the cards for months, now, but I've continued to stay here regardless, because, as I'm sure everybody here knows, I love drama. I really do. It's fun. But it's also consuming and takes away resources from much less questionable pursuits.

The fact of the matter is that sandbox is exhausting. I'm glad that we're at where we are now, compared to sandbox (and EM as a whole) when it was filled with 4channers and the like, but frankly, half the userbase acts like teenagers on tumblr who've just found out that they're capable of forming opinions. And that's exhausting.

It's exhausting being hounded obsessively by people who hate you. It's exhausting arguing with bigots who spontaneously decide they care about social justice whenever they engage with you. It's exhausting arguing with people who expect earnest responses to their bad faith strawmen. It's exhausting having to avoid games with users who harass you, but everybody else is fine with. It's exhausting having straight up bigotry thrown at you, and the people so concerned with your supposed problematic behavior giving it a pass, or even worse, DEFENDING it. It's frankly just exhausting, period, and honestly, this rant in and of itself is overly self-indulgent.

That's not to say there aren't users here that I like - in fact, there's quite a lot of you, and I appreciate you all dearly. Despite the constant drama and "discourse" here (again, a euphemism), there've been people who stuck by me, and that's something I value. Hopefully, y'all can salvage this hellsite and turn it into something meaningful.

Anyway, I don't really know what I'm doing yet , but I intend to scale back the time I spend on EM and dedicate it towards more meaningful, or at least, less irritating endeavors. I might come back to play minigames and such from time to time, and I'll still be active in Crackbox (https://discord.gg/WkmYJ4H if you want to keep up with me there). But either way, I'm hoping to disengage from all... this.

I probably should have done this a while ago, honestly. The fact of the matter is, when you stay in toxic environments long enough, you find yourself becoming toxic in response, like it or not. Sometimes, the situation is just unsalvageable, and all you can do - for yourself, and for others, is walk away. So that's what I intend to do.

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space1mon 9d
+6
Nimau
There is a world of difference between being nice to someone and not deliberately misgendering them. No person has the right to strip others of that level of humanity. No one gets to decide who does and does not get to be treated like a person.
if you can cite when and where i and any of the other people you've gone back and forth with on this matter misgendered bappho/ever referred to her by dead pronouns please let me know.
GyroGearloose1mon 9d
+1
please remember! sounds of sandbox entries for round five close tomorrow!
https://epicmafia.com/topic/94382
space1mon 9d
+7
"“A conversational tactic that dismisses the ideas being communicated when they are perceived to be delivered in an angry, frustrated, sad, fearful, or otherwise emotionally charged manner.”

In essence, this means that tone policing is a strategy some people may employ when debating others, especially online. It calls out the tone of the message, especially if it conveys strong emotions, rather than the logic of the argument. It’s a classic logical fallacy that uses an ad hominem—an attack on the person making the argument, rather than the argument itself."

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/tone-policing/

i hope i'm out after this but i'll just say my black a$$ was mad and my black a$$ is gonna stay mad
aquarius1mon 9d
DkKoba
shouko
right now there's also no mods from sandbox and no community mods (these often are the same people). this means community vios often get buried underneath game related vios

for instance when i modded i specifically was the community mod who handled most community related reports and also generally handled the forums and community relations. now no one is doing that
person good at game also good at community report pee pee poo poo
what does this mean
aquarius1mon 9d
+2
space
"“A conversational tactic that dismisses the ideas being communicated when they are perceived to be delivered in an angry, frustrated, sad, fearful, or otherwise emotionally charged manner.”

In essence, this means that tone policing is a strategy some people may employ when debating others, especially online. It calls out the tone of the message, especially if it conveys strong emotions, rather than the logic of the argument. It’s a classic logical fallacy that uses an ad hominem—an attack on the person making the argument, rather than the argument itself."

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/tone-policing/

i hope i'm out after this but i'll just say my black a$$ was mad and my black a$$ is gonna stay mad
thanks I didn't know there was a term for this
Nimau1mon 9d
space
if you can cite when and where i and any of the other people you've gone back and forth with on this matter misgendered bappho/ever referred to her by dead pronouns please let me know.
joqiza
Like, if you were someone who called out d1pshit that doesn't automatically mean Nimau was talking about you, I'm pretty sure... if you never made a transphobic comment then you shouldn't feel accused. It was a "you know who you are" sort of thing.
space1mon 9d
+1
Nimau
space
if you can cite when and where i and any of the other people you've gone back and forth with on this matter misgendered bappho/ever referred to her by dead pronouns please let me know.
joqiza
Like, if you were someone who called out d1pshit that doesn't automatically mean Nimau was talking about you, I'm pretty sure... if you never made a transphobic comment then you shouldn't feel accused. It was a "you know who you are" sort of thing.
ohhhhhh so THIS explains why you've been arguing with the people who did that for ten pages straight


oh wait
Nimau1mon 9d
I never asked you or anyone else to engage with me. I did not name you, you chose to respond to me. The fact that you chose to engage with me does not mean I was addressing you.
aquarius1mon 9d
+1
You posted in this thread and you weren't expecting responses?
Nimau1mon 9d
+1
Once again said nothing even remotely along those lines. My post did not name you or anyone else and implying that I chose to single any individual or group of people is beyond disingenuous.
deleted1mon 9d
It's sad another user must leave this website due to the Clique's schemes.
We would like to see you in Church of Jamal, user d1pshit. Personally, I don't like astrology as pseudo-scientific crap. However, you are a good user, and I bear nothing against aces.
DM me or JamalMarley if you ever wish to join.
Furry1mon 9d
+8
its so funny how you can accuse people who disagree with you of being transphobes when half of the people involved in this drama are some sort of transgender. you really can just put words in any order

claiming someones being misgendered is a verifiable claim and its not unreasonable to expect you to verify it when it would be ridiculously easy to do so. youre literally just calling trans people transphobic for disagreeing with another trans person.

just quote the and let us call them a ourselves. whats the problem why is it not happening
space1mon 9d
+4
Nimau
I never asked you or anyone else to engage with me. I did not name you, you chose to respond to me. The fact that you chose to engage with me does not mean I was addressing you.
i never said you specifically invited anyone to engage you.

"THIS explains why you've been arguing with the people who did that for ten pages straight"

this has nothing to do with who initiated any of engagement but what the contents of those engagements WERE in regards to who was involved and not because of who engaged first. this would be true regardless of who quoted or responded to whom first.

and yes, i did choose to respond as did others because your points highly decontextualize the majority of your blatantly pointed claims and the claims that you could actually prove (especially if others bore witness) to the people you allege your posts are about (an argument that joqiza had to make for you apparently) but you also choose to not to do that and instead have debated, to reiterate, people who you allege your posts are NOT for pages on end about bullying and transphobia, largely (as Furry pointed out) to trans people. both real things. both of which i'm certain bappho experienced.

so please, let's be very clear.

if your posts were 100% not a thinly veiled criticism of the people you've been discussing/debating/arguing/whatevering with, please.
by name, say you don't mean us.

but if you do mean us and specifically if you do mean me, please let me know. directly. and name my infractions. and tell me why i owe bappho or her leave a shred of respect after everything.
Nimau1mon 8d
+2
Furry
just quote the and let us call them a ourselves. whats the problem why is it not happening
space
you also choose to not to do that
I already responded to this. At no point have I claimed to be calling out any particular user but rather talking about ongoing issues within this community. If the very mention of that is offensive to you then I have nothing to say. I do not owe you anything.

space
if your posts were 100% not a thinly veiled criticism of the people you've been discussing/debating/arguing/whatevering with, please.
by name, say you don't mean us.
Again, I do not owe you or anyone else anything. If I accused you of doing something to someone else that I did not back up I would expect to have to justify that, but I didn't, at any point. But no, I do not mean you, space, I have not witnessed you heavily take part in bullying any other users, and I have never watched you misgender trans users. I think the rhetoric and dismissive behaviour you have taken part in within this thread is disgusting but no part of my original post was directed at you, other than my disappointment in ALL members of this community for not holding each other accountable for their behaviour.

Furry
its so funny how you can accuse people who disagree with you of being transphobes
Literally never did this, what a disgusting thing to say. And not that it's your or ANYONE else here's business but I'm trans and trying to undermine what I have to say with that implication is sickening.

I'm done reading this thread. I'm going to fcking vomit. Having to out myself to people I had no intention of outing to over such a nasty fcking comment is about the lowlight of my already miserable week that I have barely survived as it is. Anyone who tolerates this behaviour should be ashamed of themselves.
aquarius1mon 8d
+12
why are you afraid to name people who are being transphobes? is it because your sweeping generalizations just serve as a pretend scapegoat to deflect what a piece of crap bappho is?
Furry1mon 8d!
+13
shes not gonna pineapple you
space1mon 8d
+7
you want us to hold people accountable for transphobia but you yourself will not do it

alright
MisterPresident1mon 8d!
+2
I think bigots and transphobes would get the respect they deserved as human beings if they changed their way of thinking to show compassion, empathy, and apologize for being wrong. You earn respect and kindness through acceptance. That's what true humanity is.

It's not up to victims to be nice to their abusers/anyone else who makes their life unnecessarily difficult with outdated and uneducated views.

Edit: This was in reference to the conversation a few pages ago I guess.