Captain Sisko's Office80
For a while now I have felt the urge to make a thread for myself, and I guess this is me finally doing it.
I'm not sure what I'm going to be using it for exactly – probably just posting things that I like or other passing thoughts.
You are very welcome to ask me things if you wish, but I will warn you that I find asking for an "opinion" to be an incomprehensible phenomenon, and it is thus not a request I will necessarily feel able to fulfill.
On the other hand I always have (mostly non-fiction) book recs (and shows/music etc.) on offer.
"Because I grew up in Manhattan, people assume I must be from a wealthy family, which is seldom untrue today, especially now that hedge-fund managers trying to avoid each other have taken over even the downtown enclaves."
Read this for the first time since it came out, and it reminded me of a book I encountered in the interim. Gonna link both.
come to me history of early Canadian computing
come to me history of bankruptcy in Canada
come to me Bibliothèque et Archives nationales du Quebec
also finally found a song that I like enough to send to you = )
After each call missed, I promised myself I would get back to him. Tonight, for a list of reasons too long to get into (doesn't every event produce such a list?), I finally did.
We had nothing special to talk about, and indeed, nothing special came up. I yelled about politics, rather typically, and he informed me of the local park closing, seemingly indefinitely, seemingly for good.
We spoke for almost forty minutes before I told him I had to go. I had work to do and forty minutes was, I had decided, long enough.
What I've left out of this story so far is important but impossible to fully communicate: human beings simply do not fit into words, sentences, paragraphs, even many of them, even infinitely many of them.
My father was different on the phone tonight. It wasn't him, not really. He wasn't there in the way you want your father to be there when the world comes crashing down. He had trouble remembering prior conversations and difficulty expressing basic ideas. He was confused at several points and brought up the park twice.
It was late when I called, and I'm sure he was tired. Maybe that's all it was. But he's also 65, and a man whose mother suffered from dementia at the close of her own life. When my father caught a cold in January, he complained that it gave him "brain fog," that it became impossible to think. At the time, I thought he was being dramatic. What if...?
None of you know who I am, not really, and none of you know Dad, so the truth of the following is impossible to fully impart. But I need to tell someone, anyone. I don't believe I'll be able to sleep otherwise.
Most everything good in my life I owe to my father. And those small parts of my personality which others have managed to love, which have even managed to bring them joy in return, in drips and drabs, here and there? They exist because of him.
My final words are a simple reminder that we all need to hear, even when it's painful: cherish those you love – if they deserve it, if it makes sense to. Time stops for no one.
i haven't talked to my mom in a bit.. because of things.. and history.. but reading this puts it into perspective for me
you should consider sending this to him i'm sure he would love to hear it and your thoughts
but maybe you're already good at communicating your thoughts to those you care about and i'm projecting oops
My own father probably doesn't have all that long left, due to health issues, and I think about it often. I moved from the east coast to Texas to pursue a career, and because of that I don't see him as often as I would otherwise. I wonder a lot if I'll regret not moving back to spend time with him, when he does pass. Should I be looking harder for opportunities back home? I've talked about it with him, but it's still something that's really difficult for me to think about.
I hope I can offer some words of comfort, and not come across as presumptive or dismissing, when I say that it's important for us non-medical folk to stay calm and do our best to resist entertaining our worst fears, in situations like these. (You probably already know this, I'm sure.)
I went through a pretty nasty medical experience last year, and I guess one thing I learned from it was the importance of relying on medical experts to assess the severity of any condition or illness. I think as individuals, we have a pretty good sense of when Something is going on, but it's difficult to really understand how bad or long-lasting it is, or what the implications are. I know we can't stop old age or cognitive decline, but I also know there are ways to treat the symptoms. I encourage you to speak to your dad about it (although the conversation will be difficult) and have him ask his doctor about it if he hasn't already.
I think what our parents want more than anything is for us to live long, healthy, happy lives. They want us to experience the world and what is has to offer, first... and then relate our experiences back to them, only second. We exist even when they can't see us or hear us; we're part of a story that they know will keep existing, even after they're gone.