Epicmafia

Resolutions Game

over 5 years

In honor of 2019 let's try a new years resolutions game. You post a resolution and the next user posts how or why you will fail it, then post their own resolution

Person A: My resolution is to lose weight

Person B: But being on epicmafia all day long, you find this impossible!

(person B posts their resolution)

Get creative with it I guess

If you can sign this

7 signed

you are not a true sandbox user

Tree

over 5 years

You will be surrounded by little kids with noisemakers for a living.

To stop playing em

jacobkrin

over 5 years

you're already dead inside, so how can you stay alive?

i just want to live a quiet life

HuskyJiminie

over 5 years

you wont get your passport cause you wont let go of the fact that idc

To stay alive tbh

Tree

over 5 years

You find yourself in a fierce ninja battle with your counterpart from another dimension. In an epic showdown of sword clashing and slashing, you both lose your eyes. You are now unable to see.

To get my passport.

moonlightseal

over 5 years

Ur a tree

To see my ex having a happy life

Tree

over 5 years

You will get over it in 2 days, and then your new resolution will be to kill Husky for not understanding the fact that he wasn't skipped

To do things.

iMafia

over 5 years

if you are never unhappy, how do you know you are happy?

to stop playing epicmafia and do something productive

Tree

over 5 years

The wild animal is a wolf and it kills all of your pets

To be happy with my life

HuskyJiminie

over 5 years

you fail because only players who have no life and are on this site 24/7 can ever reach this level.

I want more pets and I want to adopt a wild animal.

jacobkrin

over 5 years

you fail but in the process you find a place with loads of you from alternate realities, talking to them instead

i want to become a level 35 epicmafia boss

baabaa

over 5 years

we all die man :/ sorry

my resolution is to stop keeping to myself and actually talk to more people!

HuskyJiminie

over 5 years

Raccoon says

Husky will begin to say 'no' to her mindfulness patterns and thus forget about saying 'no' to things more often, eventually leading her to accept going to her friend's destination wedding in Moscow where she agrees to do a 'favor' for a Russian mob boss and gets herself killed while skiing away from the CIA.

Tree will take up those mindfulness patterns that Husky left, leading her to realize the literal exact version of her life she wants. However, along with that realization also came the realization that her ideal life is impossible to attain. Every morning she wakes up knowing that her life is not the life she wants. Ultimately she decides to make do and joins the CIA. In a covert mission in Russia, she ends up killing her good EpicMafia friend Husky on a ski slope. As Husky lays dying, Tree asks her "Am I the worst friend ever?" Husky, unable to say 'no' says 'yes, you are.' Tree is then gunned down by the Russian mob.

For my new years resolution, I would like to join the Russian mob.

Genuinely the best thing I've read today thank you for this

Tree

over 5 years

oh and my new resolution is to not die

Tree

over 5 years

Raccoon says

Husky will begin to say 'no' to her mindfulness patterns and thus forget about saying 'no' to things more often, eventually leading her to accept going to her friend's destination wedding in Moscow where she agrees to do a 'favor' for a Russian mob boss and gets herself killed while skiing away from the CIA.

Tree will take up those mindfulness patterns that Husky left, leading her to realize the literal exact version of her life she wants. However, along with that realization also came the realization that her ideal life is impossible to attain. Every morning she wakes up knowing that her life is not the life she wants. Ultimately she decides to make do and joins the CIA. In a covert mission in Russia, she ends up killing her good EpicMafia friend Husky on a ski slope. As Husky lays dying, Tree asks her "Am I the worst friend ever?" Husky, unable to say 'no' says 'yes, you are.' Tree is then gunned down by the Russian mob.

For my new years resolution, I would like to join the Russian mob.

I like how you did two, so I will do it too

4thNightFacinorous jokes on you, that's his kink

PeePoop, you fail because you are already dead

Tree

over 5 years

HuskyJiminie says

i like how i got skipped thanks

I didn't skip you thanks

PeePoop

over 5 years

You beat him off instead

die

4thNightFacinorous

over 5 years

Due to being a plebeian of Ethiopia you quickly find that an abundance of food to isn't exactly easy to come by.

Beat David Cameron in an oiled up wrestling match.

deletedover 5 years

the russian mob joins you instead

i'm going to fix my eating habits so i don't die from malnourishment

Raccoon

over 5 years

Husky will begin to say 'no' to her mindfulness patterns and thus forget about saying 'no' to things more often, eventually leading her to accept going to her friend's destination wedding in Moscow where she agrees to do a 'favor' for a Russian mob boss and gets herself killed while skiing away from the CIA.

Tree will take up those mindfulness patterns that Husky left, leading her to realize the literal exact version of her life she wants. However, along with that realization also came the realization that her ideal life is impossible to attain. Every morning she wakes up knowing that her life is not the life she wants. Ultimately she decides to make do and joins the CIA. In a covert mission in Russia, she ends up killing her good EpicMafia friend Husky on a ski slope. As Husky lays dying, Tree asks her "Am I the worst friend ever?" Husky, unable to say 'no' says 'yes, you are.' Tree is then gunned down by the Russian mob.

For my new years resolution, I would like to join the Russian mob.

HuskyJiminie

over 5 years

i like how i got skipped thanks

Tree

over 5 years

jingahegami says

but yo cogo pan

my resolution is to get chuck e cheese to admit his feelings for me. he has them i know he has them he just wont say anything about it

cojo

You will fail because you can't even figure out what you just said.

To figure out what I want to do with my life.

HuskyJiminie

over 5 years

defo going to fail that, clearly everything you love is good tech and therefore, expensive.

I want to be able to stick to my mindfulness patterns, whilst also use the word 'no' more often.

wertyo

over 5 years

You discover the meaning of life - about 8 seconds after you die this year

I want to budget my money better and stop spending so much on random tech i don't need

(i.e my PC with i7-7700, GTX 1080Ti, 16gb ram, 512 SSD and 2TB HDD with a 28 inch 4K monitor and 1000W 5.1 surround sound speakers and a corsair k95 gaming keyboard and gaming mouse when the most intensive thing I do on my computer is playing EM)

PeePoop

over 5 years

fast forward to march you die in a game of epic mafia when you die in epic mafia you die in real life

i discover the meaning of life

jacobkrin

over 5 years

but you can't become enlightened, for god's abandoned all epicmafia users

i want to stick to my goals without giving up midway through